While I do think that part of my current apathy is that I am not going home to visit my family this weekend, that isn't all of it. I must also admit that I think part of it is menopause. And lastly, work, more specifically our continued inability to communicate effectively. We talk, sort of, but so much of it is at one another that we can't get the whole team thing going.
I figured out, or think I have, that all this team building that I hate needs to go on with us as a team leaving the students out of it. We can't just sit and talk, well we can, but it is one of us that is doing the talking and that person doesn't let a whole lot of communication happen when they are talking.
I was a total negative nelly today and the more poor Leah tried to pull me out of it, the more I dug my heels in. I saw it happening and I couldn't stop it. I will try to do better tomorrow. And now that I am home I am already feeling a weight lift.
I am really really tired of myself, but it is unfortunate that I can't ask for help. Asking for help is extremely difficult for me and has in the past backfired big time. I am tired of being tired and I am even more tired of feeling lost and negative about nearly everything that has to do with what I love most to do, teach.
It is not productive to seek on your own, I know this, but I really don't have anyone to ask for help, I have no friends here. And maybe that is also a problem too. Well enough, I am trying to blog every day and this is today's entry. I am hoping to eventually have intelligent things to say that inspire me and others. If there are any others reading my blog but me. sigh