I rarely come and write. I hope to do better, I always hope to do better. The last few months have been lonely and awful. Awful in the sense that I couldn't get the motivation to complete forms and requirements for my pension and social security. I am so not sure why, I couldn't even open the tablet up to find those things I need to do to not lose my apartment, phone, internet, etc. So now I have exactly 14.00 to my name. Luckily the furry family has their food, though cat food is running low and I 14.00 is not enough to buy them a bag of food.
I have filled out the forms for social security and, sadly, SNAP. The later being extremely complicated to fill out. My pension paperwork has to be completed before next Friday and they don't accept electronic submissions for some reason, likely because they need a notary. So I need to Fax the packet and don't have enough money to do that.
I have also had to ask my son for money to pay this month's bills and I'm not sure he can help. I could lose my apartment on my birthday, happy birthday to me. Those who help with rent are all dry of funds, which I find particularly sad, not just for me but for those who are worse than me. I will eventually have my pension and social security to help. I am hoping I will only have to access SNAP for this month and October. With gas up 5.00 or more a gallon I can't afford to drive around to the organizations in person.
I gave a box of cans and bottles to a gentleman combing through our trash bins and that felt good. He kept thanking me even as I walked away. Giving is far more easy for me than asking for help. Especially when what I need is about 2000.00 to catch up all my bills, but my credit card.
People want to be kind, but other than saying I am not doing well on Facebook, yes Facebook. Sigh, I hate social media, ok not hate because it is my only connection to the world however fake part of it my be.
I am hoping I can receive enough from my pension and social security to not have to work. My social anxiety, which is one of the things that I feel kept me from filling out forms and talking to people about the forms, keeps me from even thinking about jobs that require daily human contact in person.
Now I have a ton of papers to fill out for my pension, find a notary and then find a place where I can fax the papers for free.
