Slowly doing better

 Having to rely on Joseph was not stressful at all. He is a good man. Exasperating, but a good man. His faith is his companion, that sounds a bit lame. But I have faith in his faith in God. Kind people live not so much in the shadows, but backstage waiting to help, encourage, even harass those they encounter in the right ways.

My Facebook feed has been overrun with positive meme sites. Some are very very good and encouraging, others make me wriggle up my face in wonder, like, "You will get all the money you have wished for," "Affirm and riches will come your way." Stuff like that, friendship and family are the foundation on which we build our "wealth." The more I worry and stress about money, the more I know that while I need money I don't need to drip in it. Sure it would be great to have the money I need to buy the beach house my parents built, a dream that could happen perhaps, but I go back to what I used think about money: enough to pay bills, enough to road trip a few times a month, enough to help my family when they need it. 

So back to my original statement about relying on Joseph, he encouraged me and was a sounding board. I am now relying on the controllers of my pension and an agency helping me pay my rent this month and that so far is somewhat helping with stress. Ok it's just the agency that is helping me with my rent. I had been awaiting confirmation of the app I turned in three weeks ago and just found out yesterday that according to the agency my landlord hadn't sent their info in. The landlord says that they did, then today I get a call from the person reviewing my application and I find out they can't/won't help people who do not have the ability to maintain their household. I actually get that requirement because if they help someone with rent and then they don't have the ability to pay their rent in the future the agency help really isn't that helpful. 

What is horrible is that rental assistance, that payment that covers part of a person's rent runs out of funds. I, thankfully, receive enough from social security to pay my rent, not all of my bills but at least the rent, utilities, and Internet. When my pension arrives, sometime in the next 92 days according to the email I received, I will be fine. Hopefully, enough to save a few dollars a month. Back to renter's assistance, there are people, I was one, that could be homeless because they can't pay their rent. When I look at what I pay for rent, I could surely pay a mortgage, but because currently I have a low income, I can't qualify.  Again I pine for the beach house. Sigh....

I am babbling, which is what I do when I am stressed. I have overcome a few of my stressed out issues, but not that one. I get overly vocal and sometimes overshare. Ok, what I call overshare because obviously I don't blog, though I do in my head. Hmmmm maybe pop in a blog entry more often. 

I am slowly doing better, I have been forced to rely on others which is my Achilles heel. Also probably one reason I am no longer teaching. I used to love teaching but then I lost that love and I couldn't rekindle it. I have no desire to sub, that would be my hell. I am seeking a retirement passion, though I hate using use the word passion. I very much enjoy reading and writing and researching. Figuring out how to combine those is a new goal.