Believing in Santa

 Do you believe? I do! I had a time where I didn't, but as I grew older I realized that Santa does exist. Physically? Probably not, but as a concept of caring and giving he does exist. He, of course, doesn't exist in everyone unfortunately. I am not one to say he exists in more than a certain someone who was born around this time. Yes, Jesus existed as a real person. It depends on whether you believe he is the son of god or not. Oh no, I didn't capitalize "god". As an agnostic I believe in a higher power and I believe she may intervene from time to time, but it is up to us to embody who she is and be kind to one another. The whole be kind thing is becoming a bit overblown, but kindness is something we are sorely lacking in the world today. 

It's hard to be kind to everyone, I get it. I'm not kind to everyone I am sure. But what I don't do is go out of my way to be unkind. I try to be the best I can be despite being overwhelmed by unemployment and a lack of medical insurance. I think those two things make me sad far to often, I can't see a way out, I don't know how to do anything but teach and I am told and I do agree I am not all that good at it. I am good at research, writing, and lesson planning and like I said yesterday I truly suck at the implementation of lessons. I sometimes think I would be good at teaching adults, but I don't have a Masters and that keeps me from being taken seriously as a teacher of adults. I have always wondered why degrees are so important, there those, like myself who are adept in certain areas despite not having that piece of paper on my wall. Also, the more I read the posts by those working on their Masters I think the arbitrary rules of writing get in the way of some achieving their goal of a Masters. One of the students who just finished his capstone on Mexican Americans really embodies the kind of person I hope I could be someday, running out time perhaps but I hope to read his paper in a journal or maybe even a book someday. I do have great ideas, I just have a real problem with all the rules, yep I'm funny that way. 

My wish for Christmas this year is two-fold: to be able to focus enough to begin to write again and that family can come together sometime in the coming year, altogether. I miss that so much.